The biggest mistake anyone ever makes in meditation is to use it to try to fix themselves.
Once you see what’s happening, once you begin to notice thoughts and emotions more vividly, you often feel that you need to do something about it.
You don’t need to do anything about it. Seeing it is enough.
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“I shouldn’t be dwelling on this.”
“I shouldn’t worry about this anymore.”
“I should be past this by now.”
Step one you got right, noticing anger rising. Noticing that your attention is dominated by thoughts about the future.
But step two is where you blew it – imagining that you need to do something to fix that.
There’s nothing wrong with anger, sadness, greed, lust, or any other emotion you think you should be above and beyond.
Instead, you can just go on like this:
Anger comes, ha!
Sadness comes, ha!
Greed comes, ha!
Lust comes, ha!
It’s all one big joke really. You didn’t make the thoughts arise. You didn’t ask the feelings to come, but they came all the same.
Just as the sun observes the sky – whether cloudy, rainy, or clear, so you observe all this coming, but are untouched by it.
There’s nothing to do but watch things come, and watch them go.
You’re not doing anything wrong.